Happy "surfing"

I have happily spent the better part of the day learning how to subscribe to feeds, then subscribing to said feels, then reading said feeds! This is far too addictive! I really haven't done anything useful today at all!
One thing I did do, is refrain from buying the LeLuxe batwing jacket I've been mooning over for the last 6 months! It costs too much and I don't need it--that's my story and I'm stickin' to it...
Well, here comes the lightning, thunder and rain for the afternoon, so I'm off.

Playtime!

Well, I've found a new play toy! I've managed to figure out how to change my fonts--cool.
This is the first and only thing I've ever done in Html!!! Now I can annoy just about any/every one...including me.
Tonight is the BOT meeting, which should last forever, as usual, but perhaps B. will be back from vacation, that would be nice.
We went grocery shopping today, and spent too much--we even ate first! but, oh well, thus is life. Ate at Beef O'Brady's, do love that place, good food, not too expensive, and best of all, they treat us like "regulars!" Like Cheers...
Getting closer with several projects--Christmas presents and bathroom painting--I may take forever to do something, but sometimes it gets done!

Fall is coming

Certainly can't say that it's getting any cooler, however, I could feel a touch of fall in the air this morning. Did some shopping while A. waited for the pump man to come (he finally got here yesterday long enough to say he'll be back tomorrow--which is today!). Thank heavens it wasn't as horrible as we had feared, expensive yes, but not impossible. Returned some and bought more beads @ Michael's, picked up a Rx, looked for a stove top coffee percolator--etc. etc.
Still waiting patiently for that Lotto win!
Saw a news bit on aol that a family won $314+ million--that is soooo grand. I'm so happy for them, what wonderful luck.
Hey, God, we're next...

Chancel drama

Life goes on...
I'm looking forward to being involved with a "mini" Chancel drama at LOG this coming Sunday--we are acting out (scripts in hand! thank goodness!) the Tower of Babel story. The writer (Big T) has a sharp sense of humor so the "message" should be fun and short! Plus he's bringing me coffee from Dunkin' Donuts when we rehearse tomorrow--so what could be better?
Have to miss the Women's retreat on the beach this evening--the pump has chosen to go on the fritz and we can't (as yet) get hold of the pump guy so here we wait!
Convention is coming soon, mid of October, ordered the lunches and put names in for the seminars. It will be fun seeing everyone again and hearing from the new Bishop. Hope he and his family are doing well, his mother just died, and I know how rough that can be.

Lazy day @ home

Tomorrow's LOG and groceries, exciting day...
I ordered some more Christmas stuff yesterday, September comes, can Christmas be far behind? The crocheting is going OK, had to tear out about a foot tho'! seems I had picked it up when I was only half across a row and went back and forth and back, etc. for quite a while--I thought I was getting really good at it because it was going so FAST!
Been gathering info for B. for the convention--food, seminars, badge names, etc. will go online and register tomorrow. I enjoy going to convention--matter of fact, I think only A. & I enjoy it--everyone else seems to think it's a chore, wonder if the Bishop thinks so?

Sittin' for Bella

I love Bella--she's my "step-dog" and I'm sitting for her for a few days. She has great parents who make sure that she's not lonely if they're away--she also has a BIG voice, likes early morning hours, has aches and pains, and an appetite for "cookies" as do I. We are happily watching cable TV together, while I crochet and think about all the things I should be doing but don't feel like doing!
Bought The Message Remix on CDs yesterday--great 50% off sale and I'm looking forward to listening to it (them?). We also ate lunch at Miller's Ale House @ GCTC and really enjoyed that--good food, decent service but crowded, of course (business lunch crowd).
Someone in the area won the $52 million Lotto Saturday, wasn't us :-( gosh-dern-it-all. My "retirement plan" is definitely not working out!! However, the rest of the plan is OK--I've got the "idle" part down pat!

Rain, not enough

We had a little rain today. Not enough really. Either we're going to dry up and blow away or the "big" one (storm) is yet to come. After all these years in FL I've gotten used to rain every PM you could set your clock by, but things have changed (can you say global warming???). Now it's just hot-hot-hot and humid-humid-etc.
Spoke with W. today about going a different direction with the D. deal, perhaps with LOG? We'll see. Of course I'm still interested, I don't ever want to stop learning.
Started a crochet project today, during the rain. I reallyreally dislike chain stitches so that's usually the hardest part of anything I make. That and the fact that the recipient of the hand-made gift must like me in order to appreciate the gift--as in the case of my cooking--it never looks all that good, but the heart's there!

Magik in everyday life

Well, it's the everyday, ordinary things I see, hear, smell and/or touch that I take most for granted. Getting up without an alarm clock makes a happy start. Having someone bring you coffee is great as well. When my car runs, has gas, and I can afford to have one, that's everyday magik. And when there is nothing that I have to do, and I can eat chips, watch Angel reruns and veg out--at least for that day--there's renewable magik afoot!
My goal in life, from early childhood, ("What do you want to be when you grow up, dear?") has always been the same: Rich & Idle!
Before it was an option for girls, I used to say jet pilot, then graduated to astronaut, but secretly, Rich & Idle has always been the real thing. Not that I ever achieved this goal--I've put in my 1000+ years of mind-numbing drudgery same as most everyone else. I guess my dream has scaled back to Getting Along & Idle, and that's OK. I do understand and appreciate the benefits living in the USA has to offer, and within the bounds of self survival, volunteer for and monetarily support, causes that help the disenfranchised, homeless, helpless and hungry. That's my serious side, my self-depreciating humorous side is much closer to lazy and selfish and I have to be eternally vigilant for unseemly outbreaks.

Things are brighter

Well, I seem to be getting over my blue funk and things are looking up. S. called today, she said that she had been so angry about the D. rejection that she just didn't know what to say to me. I'm glad she waited, we were able to discuss it lucidly (without me tearing up in anger). We all agree with B. that it's a poopity, poopity, poop.
Did some online Christmas shopping (!) am getting fairly close to finishing for everybody but A. I just love to shop early, then we can mail in early December and get the boxes out of our hair (and jog relatives memories that we're still here :-) !!!).
Found the Brotherhood Winery online today--didn't know they were! We went to a wine tasting there some 40 years ago(!!!) and I really enjoy some of their specialty wines. Heavens, how time do dash by....
Reading another Philip Yancey book, Rumors, very interesting and also watching Dead Zone and Angel DVDs from the library--it's fun to catch up. Also watched episode 1 online on Showtime of David Duchovny's new series. Pretty easy to tell right off it's cable, whew. Really glad he's easy to look at, 'cos I saw a lot of him.

Another day...

OK, enough with the self pity, enough, I say!
Went to Estero today but no one was too interested in visits. H. wanted to play cards and P. was celebrating her b'day. I ate about a pound of pecans (!) and came home.
Tried to contact B. R-P to see how the move went but she wasn't at work and the answering machine at home didn't pick up. Still haven't really gotten a message from S. & B. kinda expected one, nor from D. but then didn't expect one.

The hardest thing...

This is the hardest thing I've had to write since I started this blog...and while that has not really been that long a time, this is a hard thing to do. For most of my life I've had various dreams, I've tried various "careers," I've interviewed for various jobs, none of which I've quite pulled off.
I didn't pull this dream off either. The Commission on Ministry has declined to recommend me to the Bishop to become a deacon.
I started out calling this blog God's call, changed it to God's call? and now I think I'll change it again. God has chosen, through his people, not to call me to ordained service. I'm disappointed, yes, however, that's what discernment is--finding out--and I did.
Where I go from here will take a little time to figure out...

It's over...so far...

Today was my COM interview, the one I've been so anxious about since around April/May. I am sooo glad that it is over and whatever the outcome--a new beginning or a bittersweet ending--it is welcome. We've been in a two year holding pattern but by Sunday I'll know if they are recommending me to begin the training or not. Either way will be OK...really...I'd surely like to continue, however, I'm not sure if that is my pride or God speaking.
In any case I owe a few hordes of folks the news, either way. The people on my committee and my friends have been asking and asking when I'll know and I told them all I'd send out an email whatever the outcome.
Right now I'm resting from the interview and the long drive with a glass of wine. Too much adrenaline in ones system turns out to be rather tiring in the end.
More Sunday....

Festival Sunday

Today is the first Sunday of Festival month @ church. We are combining Sat. nite, Sun 9a & Sun. 10:45a all together into 1 @ 9:45a. J. was the first sermon and boy was he good! It was a pleasure to hear him preach, he was funny, self effacing and really got to the point. Now that's more like it!
S. & J. came to the service today--was sooo glad to see them, we had hoped they'd come but weren't sure they'd try. I think God was happy they were there as well 'cos J. was good, the music was lively, the place was crowded and J. gave away free popcorn & sno-cones! What more could you ask for?
BTW it was an important sermon too, about storing up riches--OK so your barn's full, now what?

Great visit

Had a very interesting visit @ the LMHS Care Center. The Chaplain is very nice (looks and acts sooo much like Fr. M.!) and the Center itself seems to be taken care of very well. I'd feel very comfortable at the Center, it's very much like Estero, but is that what I really want? Perhaps I should go more towards the Health Center ministry, at least that would be new and would present an interesting challenge and learning experience. Well, I'll contact Rev. B. to see where she needs me the most--that should help me decide.
I'm still missing my friends...can't imagine where they are. Guess I'm just in a different galaxy that they are, I'm not included in anything. Am I just not making enough of an effort?
B. & G. will be @ the beach by 8/13, I am so looking forward to seeing their new place. Can't imagine it being only 25% of the area of the home they're leaving--or, rather, yes I can. Gulf front property is outasite!
Having lunch next T. with P. as CH is out of the ofc. Looking forward to that visit. She's a great gal and deserves much better than she's getting. If only I could do something, but I just have no "power" and no way in help her.
OK when will I win the LOTTO? I'm really ready for it. Have so many plans, all I need is beaucoup de money. Father, I'm humble, needy, ready and willing...now would be sooooo great!

Rainy, hot, humid

Lovely day today--NOT. Probably not as hot as it seems--80s rather than 90s, but the humidity must be 120% (as if...) 'cos when you go outside it feels like walking through a wet blanket. Visited Estero today, L. still out, and the state inspectors were there so everyone walking on eggs. They ended up closing all the fire doors and resident doors so I cashed it in. H. has her daughter and 8 KIDS there so I told her later gator.
Tried on a "conservative" suit for my interview, think it might work out. We'll see.

Monday, Monday...

Have a new appt with LMHS, Thursday @ 3:30pm. Looking forward to visiting the Care facility and meeting Chaplain Bill Miller. I think this new ministry opportunity will be very interesting--just need to keep up my energy--'tain't gittin any younger.
Having an ongoing email battle with Embarq--can't tell if it's a real or spoof site, each time I go to Google lately to get the website it seems to be not "available." Is that a good sign for a big business? I keep checking Google because my link just looks phony...so I email Customer Service with questions and get a "canned" response--obviously no person read the questions, just a machine! Arrrgh...I have just enough computer knowledge to worry but not enough to be confident about what I'm seeing!
I also keep getting spoof email from Pay Pal--which really is spoof, and then when they do send me stuff, it still looks like spoof!
Emailed Eric today to see if he can give me any hints about the COM interview--I've determined that I'll "just be myself" but not acting like a complete fool would certainly be a plus!

No memory...

Just emailed the Chaplain @ LMHS about another appt to learn about the nursing facility and used the wrong date! The woman will think I'm insane! Oh well, perhaps she'll chalk it up to enthusiasm?
Am beginning to get queasy about becoming the Prez of LAB this Jan. Wonder if it's a good idea? I guess it, as many things, depends on the DIT program. My life is on hold in so many areas until I find out if I'm accepted!
Father, is the fact of no clear call a clear call in itself?

LMHS visit

Had a good appointment with the Chaplain @ LMHS this morning. I think it's likely that I'll be doing some volunteering there or at the facility attached to it. Interesting work, I think we just might mesh.
Asked T. to join G.'s group and it looks like he may. I hope so--he'll add new life and liveliness to the meetings. Just having a different perspective will be interesting.
Viewed a whole bunch of million $$$ homes online earlier. Wish I could stop dwelling on money. Never had any, never will have, but I do dream.

Back to blond...

Yesterday I went to Scott (Steff's hairdresser) and got my gray bob changed to a blond, (with high & low lights!), pixie-ish cut. Good for summer--was sick of gray-gray-gray and having to blow-dry to try to keep the frizz at bay. Got to show it off at the BOT last night. Scott also said that my face is diamond shaped! Well, who knew? Thought it was round!
Today the Chaplain @ LMHS called to reply to my info inquiry. I am meeting her next Friday to discuss volunteering. Hopefully, she won't think I'm some kook.
C.C. @ WGCU got back to me about the article--wow, was good to hear from her, I thought she had just forgotten the piece. She asked me to bring in the photos this coming week.
And finally (what a busy life), I found out that I have gall stones! Looked them up on the 'net and read that, except in emergency cases, should probably leave them alone until I have symptoms. Of course, the possible extreme cases are FATAL but don't worry...oh, fer shur.

Semiquiet in Estero

Visited "The Home" today, Lisa's out so I went alone. Visited with many new people--it seems to be Episcopalian's time to get sick or hurt. It was sad to see P. down, she feels like cr*p. Later spoke with her husband who has to go for a Big C. checkup/followup.
Stopped to see C. for the first time since she's been put in the Alz. Unit. It was so awful, she just cried and cried and is so out of it. I stayed for a while trying to "talk her down." She finally fell asleep but it didn't last. I am really praying for her to be at peace. Seeing her like this can't be doing a lot of good for her son who had to put her in there in the first place.
Had a good visit with H., what a great lady. A bunch of them were treated to a trip to see Delta Burke and her husband Gerald Rainey at a local country club having a benefit to raise funds for cancer. They enjoyed a great luncheon (definitely more than just a lunch--I saw the menu!).

Good report

Went with sis to Dr. this am. She is almost 5 years cancer-free! Thank you, Lord! Tomorrow is the Nursing visit, don't remember if Lisa's going. She will take next Tuesday tho' as I'm going to see Fr. M. in Sarasota, then another month to go before the COM interview.
Getting close to finishing tossing old papers, bills, junk, former treasures, etc. Trying to get ready for the books, papers, etc. that will be going along with school--ah, we live in hope!
Got a neat email from Sherry, gosh I miss those folks. It is getting so hard to get together with them, I don't know what I've done wrong, but I think I'm no longer on the A list, more like B or D!

Another day

The fireworks this year weren't quite so noisy--our rear neighbors didn't have their obligatory beerfest, however, the ones in front were busy blowing up things!
The little SCP parade was fun as usual, got pelted with lots & lots of candy. Wish they'd have a band or two sometime.
Still having trouble with the bank over the missing $100, I sure don't mean the teller any trouble but I'm short! Will pray about it over the weekend and call back on Monday.
Ordered some Christmas presents yesterday! Really cute "Friars" for the folks @ church.
Going to get a haircut & color @ Steff's guy next Thursday, hope all goes well, I'm tired of this long gray look! and Big Tom says it makes my face look like a bowling ball anyway (men!).

The "rest" is over

Well, I've taken time off for R&R, or I should say ROML (Resting On My Laurels) and now the world resumes. Had an "emergency" session as a techie yesterday--everyone else is @ LutherRidge (Bill & Kally) or in hospital (Wade). Went OK--so glad Beck is very patient! Bill & Steff were not in church--still sick from last Monday! Poor kiddies, Steff sounded miserable last week and she missed the Labyrinth meeting Friday and now church--must really be sick! We even canceled the Small Group until 7/16 because they both were so sick.
My Tuesdays with Lisa are going well. She is very gung-ho about the Center. I visited with Helen while she went around on her own and did 4 Communions! I knew she'd be fine. Got her her own Communion kit from Beck this week and will give it to her tomorrow then we can work out a schedule of visits so neither of us has to go 24/7.
Have read 2 good books recently--they appeal to my "trivial" nature--What Einstein Told His Cook and Black Holes and Quantum Cats, both are fun facts about science--"kitchen chemistry" and physics.
Now if only I'd hear from Di & Sherry. Would love to get together with them but I know how busy they are and I don't really seem to be a part of their world these days. I guess I just live too far away or whatever... Perhaps soon.
Arl & I are thinking of taking Tai Chi Chih. It's supposed to be easy for "oldies" who tip over a lot--this defines us exactly! I have yet to learn the cost--that will be the deciding factor.
2 more things: Nancy & Joel have a new little white dog--Yoda. They were so lost after Bitsey died; and I am going to the Diocesan office 7/17 to talk over my psychological test results--such fun--chin up and all.

Step 1 is OVER!

Finally made it! Although it really didn't seem all that long a time, after 6 weeks my Lay Discernment team gave me their report yesterday. They were very thorough, answered every point posed by the Diocese, did not ignore my weaknesses and came up with a yes!
I feel so relieved to be finished with this part, the team was very kind but it was very intense and fairly draining. So now I have a congregational discernment of a yes to my question of whether or not I should be pursuing the ordained ministry. This report and support has helped me clarify and understand more the direction I am headed.
The next step is the COM interview and I received an email today that it is scheduled for August 10th. I refuse to think further than that...for now.

Unbelievable!

Today is an incredible, unbelievable, who-have-I-pi**ed-off!? kind of day--and it's not even noon! Dog/house sitting, starting yesterday--got up around 4am to go to the necessary, fell into the tub! brought down the curtains and could barely get off the floor. Got up at 7am and found that the door on the preset coffee maker had popped open and grounds & hot water were everywhere. Sloshed everything into the sink, walked the dog, fed her, cleaned up the coffee, tried another short pot--door popped open again but I caught it this time and held it closed! put toast into the toaster for breakfast, a piece broke off and stuck in the machine, had to up end it and dig at it with a knife (did unplug first!! ha!) got some breakfast, some coffee--a little chewy with grounds (still) then went to clean up and couldn't open the coffee door to empty the grounds--had to stick a knife in it! Cleaned up again and went into the bathroom to shower--had left all of my toiletries home and when I turned the shower off the curtain rod fell down again.
It's still down. I have a BOT meeting this evening, I have forgotten to call my best friend back, and I think I'll go back to bed!!
Is this the answer I have been waiting for? :-)

Hallie's gone

Hallie was unable to fight off the illness. She died just before we left to take her to the vet. We already miss her. The Dr. said that Bella would not be able to catch the disease from me when I go to dog-sit on Wednesday. That eases my mind because Bella is also so old and I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her.
So far this has not been a great month. I look forward to some good news--Lotto anyone?

Badday Sunday

Hallie has the worst of the colds. We think she is dying, she can hardly walk or breathe. When we finally reach the vet tomorrow we will probably have to have her put to sleep, a euphemism that is not very comforting. Enough for now.

Everyone is sick

Everyone in the house (except me) is sick. One back out and 9 colds! If finding out how to be a "servant" is my problem, then I am learning at an accelerated rate!
Discernment is over and the waiting begins. Will find out what the team thinks 6/20. I'm so tired I'm not even anxious, just want to get this part over. I guess I should thank the Lord for everyone being sick??--makes me think of others and not myself! But the little guys are not happy, hope they get well soon. I feel so sorry for them, they just don't know what's going on, and I frighten them by giving them the liquid medicine everyday.

Back again

Tomorrow will be the 5th Lay Discernment meeting, then only 1/2 a meeting left. It has been draining but rewarding in its own way. I've had the opportunity to articulate my faith and explore the options open for the future. Still don't know where this will lead, however. Well, we'll see.

A Techie Sunday

Sunday was fun. I got to be a "techie" again for the Vineyard. I'm getting better on the camera--Wade came so I gave him the PowerPoint. Walter was preaching so it was tricky as usual. He sometimes points for a new screen and sometimes it's just a gesture!
It was Trinity Sunday, so he was explaining the 3-in-1, first to the children (this helped a lot), then to the rest of us. Walter also told us that he had received news from Mark that Gus's mom, Louise had died, while the two were on vacation celebrating their anniversary. Nice lady, Gus will really miss her. I hope Walter remembered to add Louise to the prayers for the 10:45am service.

Learning a little each day

Well, I think I may have added a link to this blog successfully, anyway I came across a website to send prayers and encouragement to people imprisoned for their belief. The stories of faith, endurance and strength are a revelation to those of us who are lucky enough to have religious freedom.

Rainy day

Had a chance today to catch up on my Scripture reading. I've gotten behind with my LifeMap entries and reading since I was down and out with the fall. But now things are finally getting back together. Been reading about Solomon and the Temple he built. Actually, that was a lot more interesting than the Tent of Meeting, etc. that Moses had built. A tent, even a BIG tent is not as intriguing as the gold, silver and bronze work in a BC temple.
It drizzled all day, not much rain, but at least we had some--the fire danger has been high this season. Today is the start of the Hurricane season that will last another 6 months--predicted to be "active." Oh joy. Father, protect all your children.
Forgot until this second to do the prayers for Sunday! Time to get to work.

Discernment day

This afternoon I had my 4th Lay discernment meeting. The questions are deep, extensive and intrusive. "What do I think of my sexuality?" huh? At least there are only 1 and 1/2 days left to this part of the process. 6/20 is the last meeting. The team will meet beforehand to "decide my fate" then I'll come in and they'll tell me what they decided and why. Of course, if I do get passed there is still the COM and the Bishop to go through.
Discerning God's call can be tough for some of us. My Pastor had a kick in the head from God, kind of a direct way to find out what he wants. He is being rather quiet with me. However, I've got to believe that if this is where he wants me, it will happen.
I keep examining my motives and my call. Is it real? Am I fooling myself?

What is ahead...

Should I be seeking the ordained ministry? Is that where God is leading me? I fall so far short from where I'd like to be. How can I even dream of being a role model as a Christian? My discernment group will be making their decision soon, will it be what I want? Will it be what God wants for me? Oh, my head!
I have said that I believe a "no" doesn't make me a failure, but my insecurity pushes at me, saying, not good enough, not good enough. I pray for peace, calm and understanding. Thank you, Lord.